Fishlegs PI
by amcan14
Summary: From the wierd gal that brought you Hiccup Haddock's day off, it's Fishlegs; Private Investigator! Tuffnut is in serious trouble if he can't find his sisters favourite sword, so who does he go to, the guy that is reading a detective novel! The game is afoot people!
1. Chapter 1

**So this is going to be a one-shot about everybody's favourite character! Yes that's right, it's Fishlegs! May turn into more than a one-shot depending on how much I will write now because…I am a very lazy person. It will be in Fishlegs' P.O.V.**

'It's great in the mornings around here; thank goodness _some _people don't get up this early,' I said as I made my way up to the hall with a book in hand, enjoying the peace of early morning and the cold, but no too cold breeze. I was of course referring to a few of my friends when I mentioned some people.

'Not that I have anything against my friends of course, but they just don't understand stuff like I do, like a good book.' I nodded to myself, confirming my statement. Not that there was anyone else around I have to confirm to. As I made it through the large wooden doors into the hall I was greeted by the gentle glow and warmth of the fire. A content sigh escaped my lips as I settled down to a seat away from the small but apparent crowd. As I began to really get into my book, which I had to trade my best pair of shoes for to get from Trader Johann, a loud and deafening scream rang so high pitched that it could've been heard from miles in every direction from the island. I gave a slight chuckle to myself.

'Whoever's being yelled at sure sounds like they're getting an earful.' I quickly return to the fascinating contents of my book, which was about a man who helped people if they had lost something or it had been stolen. He was called a private investigator, or a P.I. for short. I quite liked this man; he was very professional sounding and I was very interested in the way they spoke in the book. I didn't get long to appreciate however as a loud slam of the wooden door jolted my attention upwards to see one Tuffnut Thorston gaining speed towards my direction. I groaned inwardly, hoping he would walk past, or just stop before me. Luck was not with me however as he came right to my face, commandeering the book from my hands forcefully and flinging it to the floor behind him.

'What did you do that for?' I asked the blonde male in front of me annoyed.

'God's Fishlegs, now is not the time to ask stupid questions about just as stupid books. I am in a life or death situation!' He screeched grabbing and shaking my shoulders furiously. My annoyance at him grew all the more; of course he thinks that my books are stupid and unimportant.

'And what is so crucial at this moment in time that you had to come rushing to me for, and why me for that matter, why not your sister?' Tuffnut groaned, clearly fed up with how thick he thought I was.

'_Because,'_ Tuffnut began, 'my sister is the problem, she's gone completely crazy!'

I gave an exasperated sigh, knowing I wouldn't get any more information out of the blond in front of me unless I asked.

'I thought you thought Ruffnut was crazy anyway, why is this any different?'

'Are you kidding, she has reached a whole new level of CRAZY!' Others in the hall were looking now, thinking he was the only crazy person here.

'What the Hel are you on about?' before he could open his mouth a loud grating voice boomed from across the room. We both turned to see a vicious looking blonde charging towards her brother at astounding speed.

'TUFFNUT!' She grabbed him by the front of his shirt, lifting him off the ground by at least an inch.

'Where is it? I know you have it somewhere so tell me where it is and I promise I won't hurt you…much!' I decided to take action and stood up to at least to hold back the blood bath temporarily.

'I didn't take it, I swear. Look, I'll get it back to you, just please let me down!' he begged.

'Fine,' she snarled, tossing him to the ground harshly, 'but you better get it back to me, or else!' she stalked out, shoulders slumped and a deadly stalk to her stride. Tuffnut gulped at his sister's hostility before turning back to me with a pale face and wide eyes, clearly scared witless.

'You see; crazy! She thinks _I've _taken it!'

'Tuffnut, calm down. First of all, what the Hel are you talking about?'

'It's Ruffnut's favourite sword, it's gone missing and she's saying that _I _stole it!' Tuffnut was soon on his knees, begging. 'You've got to help me; if I don't find her stupid sword…_I'm DEAD!_' I snickered silently, this was a sight to see, and although I'm not normally one for cruel humour, this was a once in a life time opportunity that I was not willing to pass up.

'Well…I don't know…' A complete look of horror washed over Tuffnut's face.

'PLEASE!' He cried, shaking my shoulders violently.

'OK, OK! I'll help you, sheesh,' I said, removing his death grip from my shoulders. He smiled like a child how has just received a shiny toy. He quickly remembered where he was and what he just done, so as subtle as a Monstrous Nightmare in a black smiths he got up and dusted himself off, all the while pretending to cough.

'Well, thanks for that I guess, ahem. So, what are we going to do about this, huh?' I put my hand to chin, deep in thought for a moment; I thought of my book, what would the P.I. do? He would go to the scene of the crime to check out clues and ask the victim questions about it of course! I cleared my throat, thinking if I was going to be a private investigator, I was going to do it right.

'OK, partner, now, let's go suss out the scene of the crime.' All I got in return was a confused look and a "what?" I gave a sigh, 'we're going to your house to see if there's anything that can help us find the sword.'

'Oh, why didn't you say that?' I gave another sigh and stormed out.

'You're weird you know that?'

**Told you I was lazy, will write another chapter soon. Tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I will repeat myself; I told you I was lazy. I do not own How to Train Your Dragon.**

* * *

'Ah, the scene of the crime,' I say aloud as Tuff and I stand out the front of the Thorston Household. From the corner of my eye I can see Tuffnut looking at me funny again**. **

**CLASH!**

We both hear at loud noise of what sounds very much like metal against metal.

'Perhaps it is the thief, returning to the scene of the crime!' I shout. Quick as one of Thor's lightning bolts, Tuff is through the door. I quickly, but not as quickly, make haste to the scene of the noise. I hear another scream, thinking it may be trouble. I rush faster but the next scream makes me stop my speed.

'RUFFNUT! Get out of my room!'

I make it to the door to Ruff and Tuff facing each other with snarled faces, each clutching the hilt of one sword.

'This is _my _sword Tuffnut! I knew you took it now give it to me!' The female of the twins yelled yanking the sword closer to her. Tuff did the same.

'No, this one's my sword, Ruff!' Ruff pulled it back to her.

'But it has my initials on it, see.' Tuff pulled back and said it was probably just dirt. Ruff continued to say it was hers, making sure to insult Tuff on the state of his room. The tug of sword began as the two battled it over. Taking matters into my own hands I walk up to them and grabbed the sword myself, pulling it easily from them.

Ruff gives me a dirty look while Tuff comes to my side. Feeling a little uneasy around a girl with the current temper of a Monstrous Nightmare, probably able to light herself on fire too in this state.

'Look, Ruffnut, I'm here to help find your sword. T – Ow!' I say, with an unfinished sentence. Tuff had hit me in the arm. Realizing that he doesn't want his sister to know he asked me for help. I quickly think up something else.

'Uh, I'm here to help because where friends aren't we? And friends help each other out?' I catch her off guard with that, her harsh expression softens.

'Y-Yeah, we're friends. Thanks Legs.' Hearing the nickname gives me a boost of confidence.

'So, we're on the case of the napped sword. Tell me, doll, where'd ya last see the loot before the rapscallion picked your pocket?' I was received with the same look her brother gave me, I sigh again.

'Where did you last have the sword before it went missing?' A look of finally understanding came upon her.

'Oh, why didn't you say that in the first place?'

'Because that's the way -Oh, never mind.'

'Well, the other day in training Astrid said that she wished she had a sword like it, is that any help?' I gave a wide grin, finally we're getting somewhere!

'Plenty, doll,' I say, 'but don't you be going nowhere, this case is still afoot, and you never know what may have happened.' I headed for the door, with Tuff close behind. I gave a silent snicker; it was like he was my sidekick.

'Now, if I where Astrid, where would I be?' I thought in silence before the answer hit me like a fish to the face. The arena! I headed there forthwith.

* * *

My hunch had been dead on as I saw the deadly blonde, working on her sword skills. I stood at the entrance, not only because I looked cool leaning on the post, but to be able to make a quick escape if necessary.

'Nice sword Astrid,' I say as nonchalantly as possible. Astrid jumped a little, having not of noticed I was there, she gave a grin, her teeth white against her flushed red face.

'Oh, hey Fishlegs, what's up?' before I get my brilliant plan under way, I'm met with a flaw; and that flaw happened to be coming over at an alarming rate.

'Astrid!' he yelled out as he approached, 'give it up Astrid, we know it was-' I cover up his mouth and push him aside, praying to Odin that he gets the message.

'So, Astrid that's a pretty nice sword you have there.' Astrid nodded and looked at it.

'I know isn't it great?'

'Yeah, damn fine. You know, it kinda looks likes-'

'Ruffnut's sword! I know that's hers and you stole it!' Tuffnut said while getting up. I gave another sigh; I seem to be doing that a lot today.

'OK Astrid, the jig is up, we know you've got the dames loot and we wanna make this an open and shut case.' Astrid looked confused.

'What are you talking about?'

'Look, Astrid,' I began, 'we know it was you, we've got evidence from the owner saying that you said you liked it, but that doesn't mean you can just take it. It's Ruffnut's sword.'

'This is about Ruff's sword? I didn't take it.'

'Oh yeah,' accused Tuffnut, 'then what's that?' He pointed to the sword. Now she was getting mad.

'I told Hiccup about Ruff's sword and he made one like it for me, look at the initials!' And truth be told, there they were an A.H in beautiful letters.

'Oh,' Tuff muttered, 'Ha sorry.' Before anything else could happen Tuff was gone for the hills. I apologized to Astrid and headed out.

'Now what are we going to do! I'm a dead man!' Tuffnut cried as he came round from the corner.

'I guess we should go back to your house,' I say, not bothering with my detective talk.

* * *

We began our way inside to see Ruffnut sitting out the front with a sword.

'Ruff, what are you doing?' Tuff asked suspiciously.

'Oh, hello Tuffnut. While you were out playing who done it with Leggy here, I went into your room to check that sword, and guess what?' she said looking at the blade observantly, 'It is my sword.' She had a twisted smile on her face that soon turned into a vicious snarl and Tuff started running.

'I'm going to kill you Tuffnut Thorston!' She screeched and ran after him. I smiled.

'Well, looks like this is an open and shut case folks. Now if ya don't mind I'm gonna back to the base and finish a write up.' The two stopped again and looked me.

'UGH! Forget I said anything!'

'Fishlegs, you are really weird!'

* * *

Back at the hall I went back to my spot, I began looking for my book. I couldn't find it anywhere, so I began looking at the other places in the hall. I stood up, not finding it anywhere. An idea struck me.

'My book has been stolen!' A small smile made it to my face.

'THE GAME IS AFOOT!'

* * *

**Bye!**


End file.
